New Direction

Erm... I didnt get PILN...sad? ....urm...not really... happy? seriously not at all...Guess I just has to accept it with an open heart..

Okay..Though I didnt get PILN, I did get PIDN, means Im gonna be studying in UIA, the good thing, its under full scholarship until Ijazah (well, that depends on whether my grade is good enough to go to Ijazah or not)

The thing is: UIA ---> UNIVERSITI ISLAM ANTARABANGSA or INTERNATIONAL ISLAMIC UNIVERSITY is a...well, you get the deal..ISLAMIC UNIVERSITY.. So, upon registration, I would need to go through 3 type of Exam...

1) English Test (Im not really worried, though I dont think I can get full marks, but im quite confident I wont fail)

2) Arabic Test (Though I would surely fail, but Im not THAT worried since quite a number of seniors told me that I should just write my name and get out)

3) Tilawah and Fardhu Ain Test (The only test Im freaking out about, since Im as clueless as a baby..actually I think a baby has more clue than me TT..TT) -the real reason to my fear is because im afraid people will look down on me when they know my real level...why them? Or am I just thinking too much?

This step gonna give me a lot of new experiences..so why am I so scared of it? Is it just human nature or am I taking a wrong step in my life? I seriously dont understand why.. I feels like crying bur why I cant..most importantly is..I dont even know why I feel like crying..

Is it because of the anxiety? Because Im too scared to face the future? Because this is wrong? Why cant I understand myself?

Argh...!! Cant anyone tell me what to do?

Then again... The experiences will make me more mature wont it?