10 things i hate that involve you.

1. I hate how being with you could easily make my heart race.

2. I hate that you always make me smile.

3. I hate the fact that everyone realise my feelings towards you even before i do.

4. I hate how close we are but how far it feels like to me.

5. I hate that my eyes will always search for you wherever I am.

6. I hate how just the mere thought of you make me blushed.

7. I hate that I am still thinking of you when we havent meet for a while.

8. I hate it when a love song make me think of you.

9. I hate the fact that you will never see me as how I see you.

10. I hate how I will never see you again when you still dont know my feelings for you.

A sudden thought

Erm... I know this is stupid...but i do craved for someone to like me.. @___@ So, I wanna do a list of things I like my future boyfriend to have. (total one-sided thinking, but what ever~)

1) Serious about things such as himself, his religion, career, studies, future and families.

2) Care about me. VERY IMPORTANT!

3) Respect my privacies, but its alright if he want to know.

4) Respect my families and friends.

5) Respect other people especially the elderly.

6) 3) Wear spectacles? XP

7) He can be as possesive as he want, as long as he let me be as possesive as I want.

Thats all..I think...urm...

I dont need someone who are popular when he didnt care at all about me.

I dont need someone handsome when he didnt respect my life and his own.

I dont need someone charming when he didnt know where his future will bring him.

"Find someone who isn't afraid to admit that they miss you. Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats you as if you are. Someone whose biggest fear is losing you. One who gives their heart completely. Someone who says 'I Love You' and means it. Lastly, find someone you wouldn't mind waking up with you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles, and your gray hair but still falls in love with you."

Girls' Day Out

This evening, I went to hang out with Mai in Taiping Sentral. We kicked things off with a newly released movie: Kongsi. Its seriously fun to watch, but the only thing slacking is the ending! Got to say, its has a good run, but the ending feels like it missing something important. Wont be too surprised if they ended up making a new movie as a continuation of this. Well, i was hoping that is the case.

Okay, after that, we went to Tesco to pick up Mai's glasses. I saw the shoes that I want, black and white, just like the rules stated. Then, KFC for lunch.. Meet Kak Yang and Mat Noor there, got treated to lunch by Mai, since she did owe me and I paid for her cinema's ticket<--sounded really ungrateful here..hahaha.. XD

After lunch, we are off to Taiping Sentral again, looking around. Mai said that she wanted to see the movie Priest, but it doesnt look THAT good, so we didnt go.. Its 3D, which mean, more expensive price ticket! *__*

Having nothing to do, we acting like a coule of kindergarten kids and played around, with the games I mean.. XP It was really fun, but kinda upset that Mai keeps winning all of the games, Im seriously a benchwarmer... T..T We spent like rm7 on games before getting too bored and sweaty, and walked away back to Tesco to have cups of IceBlog before heading home..

The funny thing that happen during that drink time is that suddenly a group of guys played the jukebox, with Hindi song! Me and Mai was like, "what..!" We are seriously staring at the guys when they started walking away and they realise that we are staring, and laughing so I think they are kinda embarressed a bit.. XD

Thats all...hoping to go out sometimes soon...

My most lovable enemy in the world....

Urm....Im just caught in the moment, after watching matlufti video, but Im sure I will never had the courage to write something like this later on...so Im writing it now..

Got to say that I love my mum...though I dont show it very much...well..she even said herself that I treated her like enemy (self-explain the title I guess) But yeah.. I couldnt asked for a better mum.. I know the only reason why we fought a lot is because Im a lot like her.. We had almost the same attitude, so maybe we are self-hating kind f person?

I rarely show her that I love her, and my dad, and all of my familes members, but I truely does.. I cant think of any other family I rather be in, except for this.. We sometimes has our differences but thats what keeps us closer since at the end of the day, we will always know that we got each others' back.

I thought of this a lot.. How can I survive if one day, they leave me...? I know its a pessimic thing to think of, but as a human being, we got to accept that death will takes us at anytime.. So, what can I do at that time? Will I cry? Will I lose the will to live? What will happen?

FAIRYTALE....?

When I was just a little girl, My mama used to tuck me into bed, And she read me a story.

It always was about a princess in distress, And how a guy would save her, And end up with the glory.

I'd lie in bed, And think about,The person that I wanted to be.

Then one day I realized, The fairy tale life wasn’t for me.

I don’t wanna be like Cinderella, Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar,

Waiting for somebody to come and set me free. (Come and set me free)

I don’t wanna be like someone waiting, For a handsome prince to come and save me

Oh, no, will survive, Unless somebody’s on my side.

Don’t wanna be, No, no, no one else.

I’d rather rescue myself.

I can slay (I can slay) my own dragons. (My own dragons)

I can dream my own dreams. (My own dreams)

My knight in shining armor (shining armor) is me.

So I'm gonna set me free.

---lyric: THE CHEETAH GIRLS *CINDERALLA*----

New Direction

Erm... I didnt get PILN...sad? ....urm...not really... happy? seriously not at all...Guess I just has to accept it with an open heart..

Okay..Though I didnt get PILN, I did get PIDN, means Im gonna be studying in UIA, the good thing, its under full scholarship until Ijazah (well, that depends on whether my grade is good enough to go to Ijazah or not)

The thing is: UIA ---> UNIVERSITI ISLAM ANTARABANGSA or INTERNATIONAL ISLAMIC UNIVERSITY is a...well, you get the deal..ISLAMIC UNIVERSITY.. So, upon registration, I would need to go through 3 type of Exam...

1) English Test (Im not really worried, though I dont think I can get full marks, but im quite confident I wont fail)

2) Arabic Test (Though I would surely fail, but Im not THAT worried since quite a number of seniors told me that I should just write my name and get out)

3) Tilawah and Fardhu Ain Test (The only test Im freaking out about, since Im as clueless as a baby..actually I think a baby has more clue than me TT..TT) -the real reason to my fear is because im afraid people will look down on me when they know my real level...why them? Or am I just thinking too much?

This step gonna give me a lot of new experiences..so why am I so scared of it? Is it just human nature or am I taking a wrong step in my life? I seriously dont understand why.. I feels like crying bur why I cant..most importantly is..I dont even know why I feel like crying..

Is it because of the anxiety? Because Im too scared to face the future? Because this is wrong? Why cant I understand myself?

Argh...!! Cant anyone tell me what to do?

Then again... The experiences will make me more mature wont it?

Love Letter

I am thinking of writing a letter.

I held the pen in my hand

and start thinking what I should write.

Suddenly my face blushed.

Since all that came to my mind is you.

Should I write you a love letter?

A girly, flowery love letter?

Should I do that?

For you to understand my feeling?

The feeling that I have been hiding.

The doki, doki sound my heart are making when you are around.

Ah! Suddenly feel like I am such an idiot.

Why am I still thinking about this?

When I got a letter to write.

Ah! Could it be the reason is because,

I am thinking of you.

Should I write you a love letter?

A girly, flowery love letter?

Should I do that?

For you to understand my feeling?

The feeling that I have been hiding.

The doki, doki sound my heart are making when you are around.

I want to write you a love letter.

A girly, flowery love letter.

That would convey my feeling.

The love I hold towards you.

Maybe I should do that.

If thats what it take to you notice me more.

New Start To a New Chapter of My Life

Okay.. I was going to post this last Saturday after Hari Anugerah but i got lazy so.. :P

The connection to secondary school life is finally over and Im off to a new chapter of my life. University. --> either JPA (IJAZAH) or UIAM (DIPLOMA) anyway, Im sure gonna pursue Law as my course. Good Luck me~

Talking about last Saturday, it seems like everything didnt go my way. +__+ Wearing a new baju kurung, and the teacher told me to wear a blazer. A platform heels, and it broke the very morning. Feeling like Im going to tell the guy I once liked him, and he didnt came! >:<

Just remember something, does this mean that Im off to a VERY bad start to a new chapter? *___*

Something stupid...

I thought I was over you..

I thought you are already in the past..

But why is it..

When I see your smile,

my heart start going crazy..

I cant even look straight to your eyes without feeling my own blush..

Whenever I see your face,

Doki, Doki goes my heart..

I started thinking what are your thought when you look at me..

I started wondering how you see in your eyes..

Whenever you look at me,

Doki, Doki goes my heart.

I should really stop this..

Before my nervousness block my own mind..

Before I lost track on the reality

Since the dreams seems much more brighter....

................

I should wakes up..

Since even though he might be the Prince Charming..

Im not his Cinderalla...

Even though I know that..

Why is it that whenver I see his face..

My heart started going doki, doki..