_LIFE IN CFS_

Since this topic has been the hottest among my classmates, so I might as well share it here. But, Im not gonna talk about it general or what-ev, but seeing that THIS is MY blog, Im gonna talk about myself, with relation to me being in CFS.

Got to say that being here is really a blessing in disguise... Its like Allah had heard my prayer and decided to give me a second chance to change myself (and as Im writing this, I

had skipped homeworks, studying and solat terawih...nice Farah.. ==")

Back to the topic. Im sure that if Allah had not given me the chance to be here, I will still be far from HIM.

Proof: Im in ISLAMIC UNIVERSITY, and I STILL CANT CONTROL MYSELF. What if I was studying in some place where the rules are islamic enough? Wont my situation be worse?

Study are rough, and the fact that I need to gain gpa 3.0 and cgpa 3.4 are worse. But then again, Allah had given me just enough time to study, but I still just take my own sweet time and just give in to my lust.

Proof: the fact that Im writing this blog when I should be studying is convincing enough I think

Erm...being here really bring me back to my feet. It suddenly hit me that here, Im not the top scorer anymore. Things wont just go my way if I dont put an effort on it. I cant gained anything if I dont work my ass off.

Problem: I know it but Im hopeless when it come down to fighting my lust. Im weak...I know that.. >//<

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The only downside of being here is the fact that I kinda feels friendless and I really miss all my old friends, since I felt more wanted with them. Here, I feels like Im always alone, though I have people around me. I just cant fit in.

Life In CFS IIUM PJ

Okay...Its fasting month right now, and just my luck that I got my monthly leave a day before the first puasa... ==" Moving along. Classes has been good, but i been to better. Im kinda the average kid in class, not the worse, but definitely not the best.. Except for Arabic class... im the worse, even worse than the worse.. TT___TT again..moving on.. assignment was a nightmare, now waiting for the damn marks for both assignment and exams.. >< scared and not even an ounce of excitedness... And I kinda feels like I dont fit in well with other people... just my imagination maybe? due to my insecurity?

My life in CFS IIUM PJ

Erm.. I cant put everything that had happen since now, since a lot had happen! So I will just summarised it all.. Its really fun here, but i still have the feeling not-belonging. I mean, I have friends, but it just seems like Im not really needed here.. >< Now, I am the greatest club ever! Environmental and Nature Club~ Its really fun and I love it~ maybe i will update later when i remember more...

10 things i hate that involve you.

1. I hate how being with you could easily make my heart race.

2. I hate that you always make me smile.

3. I hate the fact that everyone realise my feelings towards you even before i do.

4. I hate how close we are but how far it feels like to me.

5. I hate that my eyes will always search for you wherever I am.

6. I hate how just the mere thought of you make me blushed.

7. I hate that I am still thinking of you when we havent meet for a while.

8. I hate it when a love song make me think of you.

9. I hate the fact that you will never see me as how I see you.

10. I hate how I will never see you again when you still dont know my feelings for you.

A sudden thought

Erm... I know this is stupid...but i do craved for someone to like me.. @___@ So, I wanna do a list of things I like my future boyfriend to have. (total one-sided thinking, but what ever~)

1) Serious about things such as himself, his religion, career, studies, future and families.

2) Care about me. VERY IMPORTANT!

3) Respect my privacies, but its alright if he want to know.

4) Respect my families and friends.

5) Respect other people especially the elderly.

6) 3) Wear spectacles? XP

7) He can be as possesive as he want, as long as he let me be as possesive as I want.

Thats all..I think...urm...

I dont need someone who are popular when he didnt care at all about me.

I dont need someone handsome when he didnt respect my life and his own.

I dont need someone charming when he didnt know where his future will bring him.

"Find someone who isn't afraid to admit that they miss you. Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats you as if you are. Someone whose biggest fear is losing you. One who gives their heart completely. Someone who says 'I Love You' and means it. Lastly, find someone you wouldn't mind waking up with you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles, and your gray hair but still falls in love with you."

Girls' Day Out

This evening, I went to hang out with Mai in Taiping Sentral. We kicked things off with a newly released movie: Kongsi. Its seriously fun to watch, but the only thing slacking is the ending! Got to say, its has a good run, but the ending feels like it missing something important. Wont be too surprised if they ended up making a new movie as a continuation of this. Well, i was hoping that is the case.

Okay, after that, we went to Tesco to pick up Mai's glasses. I saw the shoes that I want, black and white, just like the rules stated. Then, KFC for lunch.. Meet Kak Yang and Mat Noor there, got treated to lunch by Mai, since she did owe me and I paid for her cinema's ticket<--sounded really ungrateful here..hahaha.. XD

After lunch, we are off to Taiping Sentral again, looking around. Mai said that she wanted to see the movie Priest, but it doesnt look THAT good, so we didnt go.. Its 3D, which mean, more expensive price ticket! *__*

Having nothing to do, we acting like a coule of kindergarten kids and played around, with the games I mean.. XP It was really fun, but kinda upset that Mai keeps winning all of the games, Im seriously a benchwarmer... T..T We spent like rm7 on games before getting too bored and sweaty, and walked away back to Tesco to have cups of IceBlog before heading home..

The funny thing that happen during that drink time is that suddenly a group of guys played the jukebox, with Hindi song! Me and Mai was like, "what..!" We are seriously staring at the guys when they started walking away and they realise that we are staring, and laughing so I think they are kinda embarressed a bit.. XD

Thats all...hoping to go out sometimes soon...

My most lovable enemy in the world....

Urm....Im just caught in the moment, after watching matlufti video, but Im sure I will never had the courage to write something like this later on...so Im writing it now..

Got to say that I love my mum...though I dont show it very much...well..she even said herself that I treated her like enemy (self-explain the title I guess) But yeah.. I couldnt asked for a better mum.. I know the only reason why we fought a lot is because Im a lot like her.. We had almost the same attitude, so maybe we are self-hating kind f person?

I rarely show her that I love her, and my dad, and all of my familes members, but I truely does.. I cant think of any other family I rather be in, except for this.. We sometimes has our differences but thats what keeps us closer since at the end of the day, we will always know that we got each others' back.

I thought of this a lot.. How can I survive if one day, they leave me...? I know its a pessimic thing to think of, but as a human being, we got to accept that death will takes us at anytime.. So, what can I do at that time? Will I cry? Will I lose the will to live? What will happen?